but… i was just thinkin about life. i was thinkin a little about “fame” and “celebrity” (what a great nsync record). this is not about to be some crazy profound thing. you’re not going to get smarter nor will i look much smarter to you after reading this post… i’m just saying, i was thinkin… and i wanted to write about it.

the past year and a half has not been easy or hard. honestly, i can’t remember much of it because it went by too fast for me to understand what was actually going on. it still surprises me when i hear one of our songs on the radio or see a picture of us in a magazine. i still don’t get why the hell someone would care to have one of our signatures on something of theirs haha. on a daily basis, we are asked, if not by a journalist then by a fan, what it feels like to be famous and yet i still draw a blank every time. because, to me, we are just the same. the only true difference between the life we lived before riot and the life we live now is that every little thing. every. insignificant. thing. that we do is cared for in some way. whether it be concern, obsession, hate, a genuine interest or delight… everyone has their opinion and we hear them all at some point. i really don’t mind listening. yes, it can get old. it can be humorous or enraging or just plain sad… nothing changes the fact that there’s always someone out there coming up with new theories about us, new ideas so that they can get a grip or put a handle on who we are. i might sound bitter but actually i’m just a little bit fascinated. i still haven’t really figured out what it means to be known of but not understood in any way shape or form. i could fill a hundred pages of lyrics, poetry, broken thoughts and still never be understood even the slightest. it’s a good thing. i just don’t get it yet.

life has never been so exciting and so wonder-full. the greatest part is not understanding it. not being able to tell what’s next. everyone wants what they can’t have but when i look back on days i thought i wanted something completely different than all of this - i can see how stupid that was. how selfish i was to ever try putting myself in someone else’s story. (neverending stooryyyyy!!! … sorry).

to sum up these scattered thoughts i would like to say this: when we think we know people inside out and we think we know what’s best for them we should try to remember we don’t even know what’s best for ourselves.

love,
hayley

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WINNING US TWO TEEN CHOICE AWARDS!
Best Rock Track with “crushcrushcrush” and Best Rock Group!

these are the first awards we’ve ever won as a band and we’re stoked about it.

we just got back on the bus and we’re headed for the V-Fest. playing with Nine Inch Nails… woohooo!!!
i’m really gonna have to get some sleep since we’re playing so much earlier in the day than usual (around 2pm, i think??). but really, we all just wanted to drop by and tell you guys how much we appreciate the ridiculous support. on top of the teen choice craziness, we’ve been getting all kind of updates on our video stats on the VMA voting site. thank you guys for all of it. awards really have nothing to do with why our band is a band but being supported to this extent is indescribable. we will see you guys on tour!!!

love,
ALL OF US!

hello loves,

5 days into the tour, 3 shows - 4th tonight in San Diego. i’m so stoked to be here. i spent yesterday in Los Angeles hangin with some friends. went to Amoeba Music! grabbed In and Out and saw Stepbrothers. what a great day off. (i guess i’m only capitalizing proper nouns, here).

i have to go soundcheck, sorry this is so short - i’ll be posting more regularly once we really get into the tour. thanks so much to everyone who’s already come out to a show or has already bought tickets to an upcoming show. we’re having a blast so far and it’s only gonna get better.

okay, really gotta run! laterrr
hbombdiggity